Our kids don't always enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done. It's easy for me to expect them to keep their room neat and clean just because it feels good and it safe-guards their belongings. A neat room nearly eliminates the the possibility of losing treasures and it's just...restful. It feels safe. It's right. But kids just don't feel all that. Learning to be faithful in keeping their room clean is a process. And they're quick to let me know they might remember to be faithful a little better if there was a reward at the end of the day.
Just like us...right? Jesus has been teaching me a lot about being faithful recently. A lot. And, like my kids, I find myself wanting to barter a bit when He calls me to all-out faithfulness. I say, "Jesus, I have been faithful to You. Remember my faith through our first adoption, when everything looked impossible? Remember my faith when Virgil had cancer? Remember my faith through our second adoption? What about all the faith I poured out a year ago when TWO adoption failed? And have you seen my faith in the path You've called us to walk now? And Jesus says, "I have been faithful. You have only walked in the path I created for you. I have never let you, or forsaken you. I have always had a purpose. I have never ceased to call you deeper, so you learn to rely more fully on Me."
And what can I say, but, "Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name be glory because of Your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1
Being faithful doesn't mean we get our heart's desires. The reward of faithfulness is obedience. Faithfulness helps us to walk within the boundaries God has created for us, and it is where our safety is found. Being faithful doesn't mean we'll get what we're asking for. Faithfulness isn't a genie in a bottle. Faithfulness doesn't always part the Red Sea or destroy the walls of Jericho. Sometimes faithfulness simply means hanging onto Jesus during a failed adoption. Or giving up my right to the answer I want from God. Or surrendering my will as I watch someone I love battle cancer. Faithfulness can be grueling, exhausting, tear-stained, and lonely. Not everyone is going to understand where you're coming from when you remain faithful. They're going to tell you to rise up and fight, when God has told you to stay still. They're going to tell you to be still, when God has told you to fight, even though your only reward is obedience, not the thing you're fighting for.
Faithfulness does not mean we get what we want. It doesn't! But we are always rewarded for our faithfulness. Every time we sacrifice our will on the altar, we an dig through the ashes of our "how-it-should-be" and find the treasure of obedience. And that is all we need.
And then we can stand up, brush the ashes off our hands, wash the dust from our face, and continue to walk in the path of faithfulness God has already prepared for us. Because HE is faithful.
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